Memories
Memories
I’m Cue Ball Bald, as of three weeks ago. First off, I’m healthy. Nothing to worry about! (Someone told me eyebrows are the tell. If eyebrows are gone, the hair loss matters; otherwise, it’s a choice.)
Several issues drove my decision. I won’t share the final driver, but what mattered most was the unruly nature of my hair. No matter what I did – including the use of Product – I’d have a mess On Top within two weeks of my getting my hair cut. I’m not missing the mess one bit (but I will miss my 30-minute visits with my stylist.)
Baldness identified memories, as my hair hid my history. Within minutes of finishing the removal – it took no more than 30 minutes, and after a minute or so, I had to be All In – I noted an inch-long scar, about an inch above and just in front of the top of my left ear. For a day or so, I had no memory of an accident or other event that might explain the scar. Then, I remembered!
Jaw Surgery
The scar arose from a surgical procedure a bit more than 45 years ago. My jaw was out of kilter, forward of its proper location (and not where it should have been), and I had a Jay Leno chin.
I wore railroad tracks during my 1L year to get my bite straightened. The surgery involved breaking my jaw, resetting the hinges, and removing about an inch of chin bone. All this, through a mostly vertical cut above my ear!
After the surgery, the doctor wired me shut. (The braces provided top and bottom hooks!) Six weeks. Thirty missing pounds later, five minutes of snipping allowed people to hear and understand my words.*
Eating straightaway? Not so much. Jaw muscles stop working after a long vacation. Rotating a stack of tongue depressors opened me up over a couple of months, but I do recall needing to crank myself open in restaurant restrooms between the main course and dessert.
During the informed consent conversations, I heard about potential nerve damage on my chin. 10% chance, I was told … and I do not know anyone who has had similar surgery who did not suffer from a loss of feeling. I have not used a safety razor on my chin for 45 years, I pass for someone with Bell’s Palsy when I speak, and for years I was unaware of food on the left side of my chin. Bless my relatives and friends for looking me in the eye from across a dining table and dabbing at their chins with their napkins.
Melanoma
About three inches north of the surgical scar, I see the melanoma wound site. My dermatologist spotted something during an exam in early 2019. “It’s very small,” she said, and when the lab results confirmed the bad news, she told me she hated to use the word melanoma. “I wish there was a better word, for it’s really barely a melanoma.”
Off went the melanoma. Two days later, after testing to check the margins – I don’t know why Mohs was not an option – I got stitched up. OMFG!!! No extra skin on the scalp, and the hole was quarter-sized. G-d awful, excruciating, worst ever pain! The doctor asked me about Xanax. “I’ve never taken it,” I said. She asked me if I’d had a half a glass of wine before, to explain the Xanax effect. “Nope,” I told her, leaving her non-plussed until I told her I was way more than half-a-glass familiar with wine. The Xanax helped, but I strongly recommend a general anesthetic if anyone is messing with sewing up a scalp.
I survived the melanoma scar, but I did have my moments. That spring included two trips to New York City within a month. Lots of good eating but rebandaging after the main meal was a regular event.
Male Pattern Baldness
I have a bald spot on the top of my head. Male pattern baldness! Nothing memorable at all.
Dimples, Dings, and Dents
I have taken selfies of my scalp, for self-absorption – especially, about something new – can know no bounds. I do see a dent to the left of my melanoma scar. Clueless!
*I spent a week or so on the East Coast soon before the surgery. Despite more eating than I have ever done in my life (to insulate against being too thin after the post-op process), I returned home weighing less than I had before I got to NYC. NYC and DC walking can work off a lot of calories.